the makings of a really promising relationship - reina
Today, I was minding my own business in the dining hall, waiting for some whole wheat pasta, (this was one of those rare occasions where they actually had any), when a boy from my creative writing class approached me with a fortune cookie. He only had half of it in his hand, the other half seemed to be in his mouth, and in mid-chew he mumbled a hello to me. I had always noticed him staring and smiling at me a lot in that class so I wasn’t too taken aback by him approaching me. But before we could get any of that awkward small talk underway, he looked down at his cookie, like it was a prop, and smiling, with pieces of cookie showing, said “Hey, let me open this so we can see what kinda fortune I got!”
Suddenly, I noticed his smile fade as he kept staring at his hand. Upon closer examination we both realized that there was no fortune inside. He started yelping, “OMG, Did I just eat it? I must have swallowed it!” He tried to salvage whatever fortune might have still been in his mouth by attempting to pull it out with his hands, but when he saw me blatantly watching this spectacle, I guess he realized there wouldn’t be any suave way to pull this off, so he said, “Actually I think I’ll just swallow it… yea I’ll just swallow the rest, that’ll be easier.”
Okay, so I was still standing there waiting for the pasta man to come over, and the situation was getting more uncomfortable by the minute… but I figured that after this kid just ate the meat and potatoes of his conversational prop, it really couldn’t get much worse. I was wrong.
He abandoned the remaining piece of fortune cookie and started trying to cut through a pizza pie to get a slice. The thing is, his hand couldn’t stop shaking and that, in combination with the shitty pizza cutting tools, made it practically impossible for him to cut out a slice. Eventually, magically, he retrieved the pizza and put it on his plate. Then, for some reason beyond my comprehension, he tipped the plate over and we both watched in horror as the pizza slipped out and fell on the floor.
So now, there’s him, there’s the pizza in the middle of us, and there’s me. We both just stared at it for a long time without saying anything.
He looked up after a few seconds, still glazed over with horror and burst out, “So this is what happens when I try to talk to you outside of class! I make an ass out of myself!”
In between my laughter I tried to convince him that it’s not that bad, I’ve seen worse.
I don’t think either of us believed it.
I finally got the attention of the pasta guy and as he handed me my plate, I was preparing to give this boy a friendly pat on the shoulder and a smile and walk away before he slipped on a banana peel or something. But before I had the chance to, one of his frat brothers approached him and yelled “Heeeeey, good seeing you downtown last night. Yo, we should get together more often and try to cop some ass, whadya think?” Before he answered him, my new friend just looked at me with a face of sheer desperation.
This is definitely going places. Friends and family: expect a wedding invitation in the very near future.